Heh.
Jamie posted this at 1:19 PM EDT on Tuesday, May 20th, 2008 as Humor, Audacity of Hype
May 20th, 2008
Obamatopia
April 15th, 2008
Eat your hearts out, Jack and Ennis
Ice Skating Cowboys.
The only thing that could have improved this was if those men were wearing one of my favorite shirts: “I went to Brokeback Mountain and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.”
Hubbard posted this at 11:40 AM EDT on Tuesday, April 15th, 2008 as Humor, There Is Only One God And Jonah Goldberg Is His Prophet, Random Bloggish Things
March 31st, 2008
The power of imagination
The waiter has a post up about sex that relies somewhat on your imagination:
“Ha!” Chimo says in the teasing sing song voice of a grade-schooler who knows the meaning of a sexual term before his playmates do. “You don’t know what a deluxe blowjob is.”
I’m going to be forty in a few weeks. I was getting hummers while Chimo still was crapping in his pants. I seriously doubt he knows something about oral sex that I don’t. But to humor him, I ask. “Okay, explain it.”
Chimo gives me his descriptive explanation. I won’t get into it here. Suffice to say it’s sophomoric — and sort of disgusting.
For a certain breed of humor, especially when the joke relies on creative (or disgusting) sex, letting the reader use his imagination is important, since whatever the reader imagines is apt to be more wild than anything the dedicated jokester can come up with. For example, here’s one of my favorite Catholic priest jokes:
The day after her wedding, Mary came home to her mother. Her mother couldn’t quite get what went wrong on the wedding night, and only knew that it had something to do with sex. Begging her daughter to reconsider, she took the daughter to see the village priest. The priest asked what had happened, and the daughter whispered into his ear. He turned pale, and said, “You were right to leave! For that, God destroyed Sodom.”
The mother was discouraged, but she decided to get a second opinion, and they went to see the bishop. The daughter whispered into the bishop’s ear what her husband had requested, and his beard went whiter. “Absolutely not! For that, God destroyed Gomorrah!”
Desperate, the mother decided that the third try would be the charm, so she took her daughter to see the cardinal. The daughter whispered into the cardinal’s ear what was requested on the wedding night, and the cardinal grinned and said, “Nothing wrong with that. Just try it and have fun.”
“But what about my priest and the bishop?” asked the thunderstruck daughter.
The cardinal replied, “What do those small town guys know about big city sex?”
[Incidentally, I’ve noticed a few different reactions—one nice, one intellectual, and one normal (that is to say, mine)—to this joke: (1) that the cardinal has heard more confessions and therefore knows more about sex than his underlings; (2) that the cardinal has a past like St. Augustine, who once prayed, “Lord, grant me chastity and continence—but not yet; (3) geez, that cardinal is a slut.]
Alas, it appears that the power of imagination is waning. After dozens of comments asking what a deluxe bj is, the urban dictionary now has a definition.
Hubbard posted this at 4:56 PM EDT on Monday, March 31st, 2008 as Humor, Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Belles Lettres
March 12th, 2008
Classic Midwestern Humor
If you can make it all the way through this piece, believe it or not the best line comes at the end. Just to make certain you read it, I’ll give you this irresistable lede:
WICHITA, Kan. (AP) - Deputies say a woman in western Kansas became stuck on her boyfriend’s toilet after sitting on it for two years.
If you have any appreciation at all for Midwestern humor, the last line is a riot.
Apollo posted this at 10:02 PM EDT on Wednesday, March 12th, 2008 as Humor, Amer-I-Can!
February 26th, 2008
At Last!
Prudence answers my letter.
Apollo posted this at 12:41 AM EST on Tuesday, February 26th, 2008 as Humor
January 16th, 2008